


Can I be Him?

by SkySsi



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Romance, Some PP3 Spoilers, maybe AU?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-06 15:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13414626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkySsi/pseuds/SkySsi
Summary: Set after the end of Pitch Perfect 3, a year after their USO Tour, a year after Beca watched Chloe kiss Chicago.(I really suck at summaries.) Also, this is based on James Arthur's "Can I be Him".





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> AN: PP3 (probably) some spoilers ahead. ANGST AHEAD (It’s my sadist side calling lmao, don’t read if you can’t/doesn’t handle angst). This is also somehow based on James Arthur’s ‘Can I be Him’ (It just fits so right for my current BeChloe feels, lmao.)
> 
> ENJOY.

**Written: 1-08-17**

**-Sky**

**Can I be Him?**

* * *

_\- ‘I don’t belong to you’-_

_\- ‘And you don’t belong to me’-_

Beca smiled bitterly at the memory. She could still remember that moment, the way her favourite person smiled at her, the way they sung those lines at one another. It’s like a big sign for Beca, it hit her like a thunder.

 

It took her long enough to realize her own feelings for the redhead, and Beca was sure it wasn’t something like what she _used_ to have for Jesse before. Sure, she did love the guy, but Chloe? It’s more than that. And living with the redhead after graduation had slowly helped Beca to be aware of what she has for her best friend.

And when the Bellas were in danger during that tour, Beca felt so scared of losing not only the bellas but specially Chloe. She honestly found herself not knowing what to do with her life if ever she loses the redhead at that very moment. That crisis made Beca be so certain that she _is_ indeed in love with Chloe Beale.

 

Beca had almost confessed her feelings towards Chloe. Her hopes got up high when Fat Amy and even Aubrey, had told her that the redhead would also return the same feelings. Which was true.

Yeah, _was._

 

Have you ever listened to a song and only fully appreciate its entire message after feeling your heart shatter in a million tiny pieces? Asking for a friend.

If yes, Beca could not agree even more to that. If no, back off, she’s heart broken.

 

Another pained smile was plastered in the tiny brunette’s face as she scrolled through a Tumblr post saying how _‘Almost’_ is the saddest word in the world.

 

Because if ever, Beca had almost confessed her true feelings towards the redhead at that exact moment. She followed Chloe after her performance, their performance, actually. She had finally gathered the confidence to do so, she even got Amy who urged her to go after the redhead, Beca could remember the blonde muttering about living with the two of them with _that_ kind of tension going on.

 

So, Beca did went to find Chloe.

 

 

Only to see her best friend, the person whom she had learned to love more than she had loved any other person, in the arms of that army guy, their lips attached. And, Beca had to watch them. Even if she mentally urged herself to look away, or to walk towards them and pull them apart.

She honestly felt weak that time, and the grossed expression in her face was a proof. And if she’d be honest, Theo coming into the picture helped her gain the remaining strength on her body to walk away.

 

Watching the love of your life kiss someone else is honestly a torture. All her hopes vanished through thin air.

 

That’s why Beca was now so sure that if the word ‘Almost’ is the saddest word in the entire universe, then the saddest and the most excruciating pain in this world is watching the person you love so dearly, someone you _almost_ have, be with someone else and seemingly happy.

Because if it’s true that Chloe had the same feelings for her, then Beca couldn’t hold onto that any further after seeing her kiss Chicago.

 

 

It also didn’t help when Beca stayed in Atlanta for a few more weeks after their USO tour before going to LA with Theo for work.

Because those weeks were composed of Chloe casually talking about Chicago, and Beca had to feign her smiles, paying little attention to every story that will come out of Chloe’s mouth. She knew Chicago is a nice guy though, but still.

 

And all Beca had done through those weeks was to contain her tears, say those; _‘I’m happy for you, Chlo’_ and try to mean it without feeling her chest tighten up a little. If given a chance, Beca wishes to take Chicago’s place and she’d make the redhead happier.

 

But it’s a little too late now, is it?

 

Beca could tell that her best friend was clearly charmed off by the army guy, it’s obvious by the way how Chloe’s eyes lit up when mentioning the guy’s name, the thing is, after that tour, the redhead would always talk about him. It usually irritates Beca, but she tried to keep her emotions intact, so Chloe wouldn’t notice.

 

Yup, Beca is taking the ‘bestfriend’ role too seriously, that it freaking hurts. But it doesn’t matter for Beca, because well, Chloe looked _really_ happy and as much as Beca cringes at the word, the redhead seemed to be ‘in love’.

This went on and on, and Amy would always throw a sorry look at Beca’s way every single time.

 

Not until Beca has to go.

 

Albeit the distance, Beca regularly talks to Chloe or Amy. The brunette was a bit glad to be away from Chloe for a bit, since she wasn’t sure how she could handle the pain of watching Chloe blabber about Chicago. Or how she had become bubblier than ever after that tour.

 

 

Theo entered the conference room, his presence going unnoticed by Beca who was still in her own thoughts. He sat across where Beca is seated, the brunette still hadn’t notice him. Theo took a deep sigh as he cleared his throat, attempting to catch Beca’s attention.

Which was successful, the petite woman was startled at first but relaxed seconds after.

 

 

“What were you thinking, Beca?” Theo asked. Beca nipped her lips, before shaking her head.

“So, did he agree?” Beca asked back, changing the subject. Theo leaned back, his fingers tapping the glass table.

“Yeah, I still don’t understand why you wanted to put that song in your next album.” Theo answered, his eyes met with Beca who looked away.

 

Within a couple of months after going to LA, Beca had released her first album which was a huge success and it already helped her create a name in the music industry. Of course, all the girls were so proud and happy for her. Her first release was followed by a couple of tours, concerts along with DJ Khaled and she had already been invited to some shows.

 

To make the story shorter, Beca had finally got it right.

 

And as what Chloe would say, Beca deserves it. The spotlight is finally hers.

 

And she hadn’t let her family down. Except that she’s somehow ‘giving up’ on Chloe. Not giving up where she would stay out of the redhead’s life. Beca would have to give up since Chicago seemed to be doing a good job at making Chloe happy.

 

As long as Beca doesn’t want to be that someone who gives up easily, what can she do?

 

“It’ll be the first and last. Just give me this one.” Beca retorted vaguely, scratching the tip of her nose. The guy just looked at her as if he’s trying to examine her features, but Beca feigned a smile, quickly diverting her eyes on anywhere else but Theo.

 

Beca just wanted to get it off her chest, all the pent-up emotions that she could not now dare to speak. She could not tell it directly, so she at least wanted to let it out even through a song.

* * *

The wait on the plane wasn’t the only thing that annoys Beca, the presence of Theo as well. Apparently, the guy insisted on going with her back in Atlanta, for another Bellas’ reunion.

 

Well, not really. It has been a year since the USO Tour, and that also meant that it has been a year since Stacie had given birth to Bella Conrad. So, all the bellas would be coming to celebrate Bella’s first birthday party.

 

And Theo wouldn’t let her go alone with the reasons of her being a ‘star’ now. Not that Theo is taking full responsibility of Beca but, yeah, you could say that. The guy had been following her everywhere to the point where they were once mistaken of being a couple in which Beca had strongly denied.

She just had to, since the Bellas were all questioning her at that time.

 

In other words, Theo is also taking the job of being Beca’s manager, not just a typical music executive.

 

Beca took a deep sigh as her eyes wandered around the airport, taking in the sight that she hadn’t seen for awhile. Theo stood beside her, carrying their luggage. Their attention was quickly caught when they heard Fat Amy shout their names, holding a banner with their names written on it, the blonde was also waving at them.

The petite woman scrunched up her face when she noticed that Chloe wasn’t around. Because if she’d be honest, she was expecting to see Chloe waiting for her arrival.

 

Despite being a millionaire, Fat Amy still chose to stay with the apartment they got after graduation. So Beca was wondering as to why the Australian blonde was fetching them alone. She knows for sure that the rest of the bellas were all in Stacie’s place now. Because Beca was the last to arrive due to her full packed schedule.

 

As soon as the two had approached the blonde, Amy threw a side glance at Theo who smiled at her. Beca looked at her best friend, and it’s as if there’s a conversation going on between the two of them.

 

“They’re all waiting for us there.” Amy muttered, leading the way to the parking lot.

Beca walked up to match Amy’s pace, leaving Theo behind. The Aussie turned her head to make sure that the guy wouldn’t hear what she was about to say, before turning back to Beca.

 

“Seriously, Beca, is he your body guard or what?” Amy asked, her voice was lowered down.

 

The brunette twitched her nose, before responding; “I know. He insisted, but he promised he wouldn’t be around all the time, since it’s a bellas reunion.” Beca explained.

 

“Well, I could hire him as my body guard if he wants. You know, I could pay his whole year salary.” Amy retorted, causing Beca to sigh as she tucked some strands of her hair behind her ear.

Fat Amy led them to a van she bought months ago so that the bellas, when possible could go on a road trip together. Maybe they would, now is the perfect timing, right?

 

“Are all the Bellas already at Stacie’s?” Beca asked casually, not wanting to be caught by the blonde that she was actually asking where is Chloe.

Fat Amy glanced at the petite woman, before looking straight ahead.

 

“You mean, ‘where is Chloe’?” Amy corrected her, knowing Beca too well.

The ‘attempted’ confession gave Amy the confidence to talk about Beca’s feelings towards the redhead openly. Even if Beca tries to avoid it.

 

Noticing the silence of Beca, Amy took a sigh before placing a hand on the brunette’s shoulders. It was enough for Beca to know what that meant. Of course.

 

“She really wanted to come with me though, but she had this important stuff in her school coming up and Chicago’s picking her up right after and will go straight ahead there.” Amy explained.

Beca’s face sported an annoyed one. One thing that had also happened after that USO Tour was that Chicago was sent home for a couple of months, she was thankful enough that when the army guy was released was also the time that she would have to torture herself more by watching Chloe act like a teenager girl who was struck by love at first sight.

 

“You could’ve just tell her, Beca. Also, you should thank me for keeping my mouth shut.” Amy added while sticking her car keys out and unlocking the vehicle, earning a groan from Beca.

Beca looked back and saw Theo following them, opening the door as they help him carry their bags inside.

 

“How long were you staying here, anyways?” Amy asked as she buckled her seatbelt, Beca sitting on the passenger seat beside the driver’s seat and Theo, well, on the back together with their luggage.

 

“Just a week.” Beca answered shortly, Amy looked at her before nodding.

It’ll sure be a long week.

 

 

After dropping Theo to the hotel, nearest to where Stacie’s place was, the two best friends headed there, wherein the bellas were all waiting for Beca’s arrival. Amy would throw a glance at Beca, noticing the strange behaviour of the brunette. Her legs kept on bouncing, a sign that Amy had learned from Chloe that Beca only does _that_ when she’s in deep thought or when she’s nervous.

 

And Beca doesn’t show any hints of emotions so often.

 

“We can find a way to kick Chicago out, you know?” Amy muttered, breaking the silence between them. She felt Beca glare at her before tilting her head back and puffing an air.

“I thought you said only Bellas would be allowed in the party, so no need for that.” Beca responded, sounding almost exhausted.

“Well, _our_ party. Not baby Bella’s party. Guests are invited.” The blonde retorted before pulling onto the drive way. She turned to Beca who took a deep sigh before loudly exhaling.

 

The brunette shifted her gaze and stared at her best friend for a couple of seconds, her heart beating more than its normal pace at the thought of seeing Chloe again. But that feeling quickly faded away when another thought of seeing Chloe, with Chicago made Beca’s chest tighten and she could feel her heart in pain.

 

“You know Beca, I thought you were really slow at paddling the boat when we came to save the bellas from my father a year ago. But look, you were _slower_ at getting your girl. That she slipped out of your grasp.” Amy stated without even thinking about the words that had left out of her mouth.

 

Beca just rolled her eyes, looking out as she twitches her nose. She knew that Amy had a point though, it wasn’t just a pure attack on her. Or was it just one of those times wherein Amy would mock the hell out of her. Because admit it or not, Beca knew that there has got to be some sense in the blonde’s words.

 

“Can’t blame the ginger though, the guy is hot.” Amy added before unbuckling her seatbelt, ignoring the way that Beca had looked at her before groaning in frustration.

They both notice the gray dodge ram parked in front of them, and Beca could tell who owns that truck. Oddly, she felt like she was already running out of breath and if it wasn’t for Amy, Beca would’ve insisted that she could stay in the same hotel as Theo was.

 

Amy was pushing Beca at her shoulders to walk faster while the brunette struggles to carry her two luggage, she was mumbling something about Amy not helping her, so they could get in faster when the front door of Stacie’s house busted open, there comes out an overly excited Chloe, who rushes out and engaged Beca in a bone crushing hug.

Beca was at first caught off guard, but quickly relaxed in her best friend’s arms. She patted Chloe’s back, who was whispering at her ears about how she had missed her.

 

“I missed you too, Chloe.” Beca replied sincerely, fighting a huge grin that was about to break on the corner of her lips.

 

The girls had also come out of the house, and in a span of quick seconds, there was a bellas’ group hug going on. Beca did not complain at the scene, knowing how she had also missed these weirdos. Specially Chloe, who has still hasn’t let go of her until now.

 

“Guys, we could talk about how we missed each other later. Let’s go inside.” The brunette tried, the bellas complied as they detached themselves, including Chloe, Beca quickly missing the warmth of the redhead’s body.

The wide smile on Beca’s face was quickly turned into a frown when she saw Chicago approaching them. Amy had once again thrown a side glance at the petite woman, slightly nudging her. Beca shifted her head slightly, not wanting to return a fake smile at the guy.

 

“Welcome home, Beca.” Chicago greeted enthusiastically.

 

Even though it was clear at how nice and supportive Chicago is to Beca, the brunette could not help the pang of jealousy in her chest every time she sees the man. Beca knew that it was wrong of her, she does not really hate the guy though, well, if anything, Theo is more annoying than Chicago. But maybe it’s the fact that Chicago has the woman that Beca had been wishing to have. Maybe it’s because Chicago is in a place where Beca wanted to be the most.

And it’s with Chloe.

 

Aubrey noticed the growing atmosphere, glancing quickly between Amy and Beca before clearing her throat, suggesting that they should all head back inside the house.

 

Beca’s attention was immediately diverted at the adorable baby that was in Stacie’s arms. The brunette quickly approached them, sporting an adorable face as she used her ‘baby voice’ to talk to Bella.

 

“Awe, aren’t you a cutie?” Beca said with such a delighted tone as she softly pokes the baby’s cheek. Bella giggled as a response, gazing at the new face in front of her. 

 

Chloe smiled to herself as she watched at how rare yet adorable the moment is. She had rarely seen Beca interacts with babies before. She could count on her fingers how many times she had seen the brunette act the way she was acting right now in those years that they had lived together.

 

“Oh, Beca?” Chloe called as she slowly walks towards them. Beca turned and looked at the redhead, a small smile on her face.

 

“You and I would have to share a room, there wasn’t enough. That’s fine with you, right?” Chloe asked, noticing the smirk on Stacie’s face as she turned on her feet, mumbling her exit to Beca who only nodded.

The brunette then turned back and saw Chloe was now closer. Beca pursed her lips before showing a tight-lipped smirk and nodding at the redhead. The thought of sharing a room again with Chloe sends Beca to a million jolts of electricity running down her spine.

 

“Where is Chicago staying?” Beca asked, attempting to hide her excitement. She’s not really interested nor caring about the guy, she just wanted to ask if she would have to interact with him for the rest of their stay.

 

“Oh, he’s driving back tomorrow night after the party. And will come back the next, next day.” Chloe answered with a broad smile on her face.

Beca nodded, avoiding to let Chloe notice the way her face scrunched up. There was something in the way that Beca’s heart tightens when she thought of how bright Chloe talks when it’s about the guy.

 

“Becs?” Chloe called as she waves in front of the brunette who seemed to be in a deep daze. She smiled when Beca shook her head, snapping herself out of her own trance.

 

“Sorry, what were you saying?” Beca asked, her face a bit flushed. She might or might not have been zoning out for a moment to miss what the redhead says after mentioning Chicago.

The redhead shook her head with a soft smile and an adoring look in her eyes, her arms met Beca’s as she brushes her thumbs on the skin. Before Beca could revel at the touch, they heard Aubrey calling them from the kitchen. Chloe looked back at Beca who only nodded and smiled at her, before walking towards their girls.

 

 

One thing that Beca had learned after meeting the girls and well, leaving with Chloe and Amy was how to interact with people. It wasn’t really that hard to have a little and few conversations with Chicago as what Beca had thought. Maybe it’s also why Chloe had fallen for him, he has this vibes of getting easy to talk to.

Beca secretly reminisces those times when she and Chloe was alone, she remembered how the two of them could comfortably talk almost about everything, except for those _unsaid_ feelings, there are days or nights where they would fall asleep just talking about anything.

 

“So, Beca… are we allowed to get a sneak peek of your next album?” Emily asked, excitement and curiosity laced in her voice.

 

Everyone fell silent as they all turned to the petite brunette who was sitting on the bar stool of the counter. Across her sat Chloe with Chicago beside her. The brunette looked away when she sensed Chicago moving his arms and putting them around Chloe’s shoulders.

 

“Uh, I’m not so sure about that.” Beca answered her voice sounding a little low.

Aubrey raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in Beca’s demeanor. She was sure that Beca was happily talking earlier before Emily had dropped the question.

 

“Well, we could ask Theo to let us hear it. At least just one song, Becs.” Chloe chimed in, her eyes hoping to meet Beca’s. But the brunette only gave her a quick glance before turning back to Emily.

 

“Yeah, that’d be cool, I guess.” Beca nodded.

 

“Oh, you could sing for us tomorrow!” Stacie suggested, everyone excitedly squealed as they all agreed to the new idea.

Beca twitched her nose as she quickly steals a glance from Chloe’s direction.

 

“Well, if Beca doesn’t want to, I can do it. For free.” Amy chimed in, sporting her ever so confidence once again.

 

“That’d be great too, but I wasn’t there when Beca sang to you guys.” Stacie pointed out with Bella in her arms. The petite brunette looked at her before gazing at the toddler in her arms.

“I’d ask Theo if I could use one song from my upcoming album.” Beca stated with a small smile, earning a series of cheers and ‘yes’ from the girls.

 

 

Later that day, they all gathered at Stacie’s backyard, helping one another to set up the place as tomorrow would be the first birthday celebration of Bella. They all took time to watch Bella so that they could progress with designing and preparing everything that would be needed for tomorrow.

And Beca’s heart was beating wildly each time Chloe would come to her, or talk to her. Except for those incidents where her eyes would dart at the very exact moments that Chloe was with Chicago, it didn’t also help when it was the two of them who volunteered to watch Bella and the girls somehow finds them ‘cute’.

 

Beca really thought at how Chloe is happy… with _him._ She really wanted to cling unto the thought that Amy had given her, that Chloe was just using him to make _her_ jealous. If ever, it was hella effective and second… what are the odds that Amy was actually right?

 

All these thoughts clouded Beca’s mind that she wasn’t aware of the sharp tool she was holding. She growled in pain when she had clumsily struck the tool on the palm of her hand. She winced as she saw blood slowly coming out of her hand that it immediately caught the other girl’s attention.

They all, especially Chloe, rushed towards the brunette.

 

“What happened, Becs?” Chloe asked with her brows furrowed as she grabbed Beca’s hand to inspect it.

Beca bit the bottom of her lip as she schools her pained feature. Aubrey gave the brunette a look which she ignored. She could only guess what that look meant.

 

She had been trying but in Amy or in Aubrey’s eyes, she was still that obvious.

 

“Let’s go inside, I have a first aid kit there.” Stacie uttered as she led them inside.

*******  

 

“It’s just a small cut, Chloe. Calm down.” Beca stated nonchalantly as she watches the redhead’s face filled with concern and worry. Her small smile was turned into a frown when Aubrey accidentally gripped on her wound tight.

 

“Aww, careful Aubrey. Are you treating me or making it worst?” Beca hissed, receiving a glare from the blonde.

 

“Small cut, huh.” Aubrey whispered before turning back to covering Beca’s cleaned and treated wound with gauze.

Beca raised an eyebrow, followed by her infamous smirk as she looked up to Chloe who was standing behind Aubrey. She noticed how Chloe’s mouth open as if she is about to say something when Aubrey cut her off.

 

“Alright, it’s done. You’re good.” Aubrey said with a smile on her face. She’s pretty proud of the job she had done, something she had learned from running the Lodge of Fallen Leaves.

 The blonde stood up and looked at Beca and Chloe back and forth before puffing an air. She turned on her heel and smiled at the redhead.

 

“I’ll leave you two for now.” The blonde softly said, her arms reaching out to Chloe. The redhead nodded with a soft smile, Aubrey glanced at Beca for a moment before going straight through the door, leaving the two of them alone in the room that they are going to share.

 

“You seemed distracted Becs.” Chloe said in a soft tone, as she took a step forward, taking a sit beside the brunette.

Beca tilted her head, finding Chloe’s baby blue orbs staring back at her. She flashed her a small smile before shaking her head. They were silent for a few seconds, with Beca simply staring at her wounded hand and Chloe just looking at the door where Aubrey had left.

 

The room was filled with silence, their shallow breathings was heard every once in a while. And Beca wonders if Chloe was also able to hear her heart beating ever so loudly. She felt Chloe shifted in her seat and before Beca knew it, she felt the redhead’s hand wrapped on her wrist. She twisted and saw Chloe now laying on the bed.

Chloe smiled at Beca as she tapped the space beside her, inviting her in for a cuddle. One thing that Chloe surely missed while Beca was away. And despite Beca not admitting how she loves it when they cuddle, Chloe knew that Beca really _loves_ hugs.

 

A wide grin spread across Beca’s face as she shuffled and lay beside Chloe, whose arms quickly finds their way on Beca’s waist, pulling her closer as they snuggle comfortably.

 

“Rest, I know you’re tired and jetlagged.” Chloe whispered, her eyes closed and her lips creasing up in a smile when she felt Beca nuzzles closer on the crook of her neck.

She felt this familiar feeling when she felt Beca’s warm breath hits the skin of her neck.

 

 

Whilst Beca could not send herself to sleep as she enjoys watching Chloe take a nap. It was undeniably adorable at how Chloe looked so peaceful and like an angel even when she’s asleep. Beca had lost track of the time, she was too busy watching the girl beside her that Beca had forgotten how much time had passed already.

 

It was by then when she heard a knock, her face scrunched up when she heard who it was.

 

Begrudgingly, Beca detached herself from Chloe’s hold, careful not to wake up the older woman who seemed to be in a deep slumber. But the moment Beca distanced herself from Chloe, the redhead stirred and slowly opened her eyes.

When their eyes met, an automatic smile was planted on Chloe’s lips, in which Beca returned. Their heads both tilted when they heard another knock.

 

“I’ll get it.” Chloe said as she stretched out her arms with a yawn. Beca just admired at how perfect Chloe was. And Chicago is one lucky man.

Very lucky, for that matter.

 

Chloe opened the door, and Beca’s chest tighten once again at how it looked like the remaining sleep on Chloe’s body had washed away upon seeing Chicago.

 

“Dinner’s ready.” Chicago said, sporting is sickeningly sweet smile at his _girlfriend_ before looking across her shoulders and meeting Beca’s gaze.

 

“Oh, sorry. We fell asleep.” Chloe answered, before turning her body to look at Beca who was still sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

“No worries. We’re having barbeque at the backyard, come down and eat when you guys are ready.” Chicago retorted, his soft smile never leaving his face. Chloe nodded as she ushered some words at the man about freshening up and going after them.

 

Chicago nodded before heading downstairs. Chloe has this smile again as she turned back to Beca who was frowning.

 

“I forgot to ask about how things are going between you and him.” Beca feigned interest, she didn’t really want to ask but she felt like she wasn’t being a ‘true’ friend if she didn’t.

Chloe’s smile grew even wider at the question.

 

“Oh, we’re doing fine. Great, he’s still this sweet guy and gentleman. I mean, that makes him cuter.” Chloe began rambling as she headed to the small bathroom in their room to wash up her face.

A bittersweet smile was plastered on Beca’s lips, thankful that the redhead could not see her.

 

“That’s good.” Beca mumbled as she started fidgeting with her own fingers.

“Yeah, he’s really great, Becs.” Chloe answered from where she is, sticking her head out showcasing Beca that smile that had both gotten Beca’s and Chicago’s heart.

 

Specially Beca.

 

“I’m really happy for you, Chlo. I’m glad you found your match.” Beca said half heartedly, covering up with a smile.

She was well aware of the lie that had just spilled from her mouth. It is given that she wanted the redhead to be happy but… can’t she be the one who will make her?

 

Chloe walked towards the brunette and grabbed her hands in hers. She looked at the brunette, her eyes shining brightly as she beamed at her. They stared for maybe a few seconds, but it is enough for Beca to be lost in those bright blue eyes.

 

“I hope you’ll find yours, too, Becs. You’re great and amazing. I’m sure that someone would be so lucky to have you.” Chloe said with much admiration that if Beca hadn’t known any better, she might have misunderstood what the redhead said.

 

Beca couldn’t find the words for a moment, she stares back at Chloe, unsure what her eyes was telling Chloe. But Beca couldn’t shake off the voice inside her head that says that, that someone is Chloe. _Only_ Chloe.

 

“Thanks.” Beca muttered before looking away but she didn’t take her hands back. She enjoyed how warm and soft Chloe’s hands were. She felt even more jealous knowing that Chicago has the rights to hold Chloe’s hands every time he wills.

 

“I’m hungry. Let’s go and join them.” Beca added, avoiding Chloe’s eyes or she would totally lose herself and she has this urge to kiss the redhead.

Chloe smiled at the brunette as they both stood up and headed out.

* * *

The entire night almost got Beca lose her sanity. For once, she felt like she had been in Aubrey’s shoe for the first time. She felt like puking every time Chloe and Chicago would be this sickeningly sweet in front of them, or in front of her. It wasn’t just plain jealousy that Beca has, it’s a mix of that and this excruciating pain in her chest.

 

It’s that, and the fact that Beca had to act as if it does not affect her at all. She had lost count of how many times she had to feign a smile every single damn time that her eyes would meet Chloe’s gaze. If it wasn’t for the other girls and baby Bella, Beca wasn’t so sure of how long she could stand being in the same place where her heart kept on getting shattered.

However, despite the torture she had earlier that night, Beca couldn’t help but feel like she had won at least for once against Chicago since it is her that is currently laying beside Chloe right now.

 

Not to mention that Chloe had let her be the ‘bigger spoon’ this time when they cuddle.

 

So, Beca has this wide smile on her face the entire time. She feels anxious thinking that Chloe is able to hear her heart beating wildly as if it would jump out of it’s rib cage. Beca felt Chloe stir, she smiled when the redhead snuggled into her more. She couldn’t help but run her fingers through Chloe’s hair, inhaling the sweet scent of the redhead.

As much as Beca wanted to savour the moment, her mind kept on reminding her that the woman isn’t hers. Nor ever will be. It is that thought that made Beca’s eyes watery, she smiled at herself foolishly because she really looked pathetic in this situation. Because she’s _the_ best friend.

The emotions she had schooled earlier didn’t help. She silently sniffs, her grip on Chloe’s waist tightens, pulling the older woman impossibly closer to her. It was then when Beca had stared at Chloe who was sleeping peacefully, the brunette gazed at her as if it was to memorize every little feature of her face.

 

Beca might or might not have realized that she was leaning in, she stopped when she was an inch away from Chloe’s face. Her eyes went down to Chloe’s lips, and at that moment, Beca had an internal war going on inside her head, battling as to whether she should go for it and then start letting go of all these feelings she had for her the next morning or should she just let things be.

 

The answer didn’t need to be stated when Beca screwed her eyes shut, leaning forward, closing the remaining distance as her lips almost brushing against Chloe’s. Beca knew she might or might not regret this but maybe it is the rush of emotions running through her that urge her to do so.

 

_Just this once._ Beca thought to herself, as she didn’t fight any of her conscience for a moment, pressing her lips _just_ on the corner of Chloe’s lips. She stayed there for maybe a few more seconds before leaning away, wiping a tear that had escaped her eyes.

 

Little did she know, that action sparked a not so little raging war inside Chloe’s _head._

* * *


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Part II (This is like a one shot, but I split it into two parts). Thank you so much guys for reading.  
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Pitch Perfect movies as well as the songs mentioned below.
> 
> ENJOY!

**Date Written: 01-18-18**

**-Sky**

**Can I be Him?**

 

* * *

 

“Dude, are you kidding me?” Beca’s tone raised up a little bit at Theo’s words. The guy let out a deep sigh before looking up to meet Beca’s eyes as he slowly nodded.

“Beca, that’s the only demo that I have with me since you requested it to add on your album the last minute.” Theo explained, his eyes never leaving Beca’s.

Beca stared for a couple of seconds, contemplating if she should go with that song or not. It’s true she wanted that song included in her next album, but she wasn’t so sure if she has the strength nor the confidence to sing it live in front of her friends, especially Chloe.

She might breakdown if she does.

 

“But it’s a _party._ ” Beca pointed out. Theo stood up from his seat and faced Beca.

“I know, Beca. I don’t think it wouldn’t be that bad if you’ll sing that song, I mean it’ll be nice to have this melancholic atmosphere for a few moments.” Theo reasoned out, almost convincing the brunette.

Not that Theo _wasn’t_ aware of why Beca is anxious about performing that song. He knew. Well, Amy had accidentally spilled to him one time.

 

He was also referred by Amy as Beca’s _new_ wingman. Theo is cool with it, though he finds it weird because he honestly has _something_ for the tiny brunette. But he had already noticed that there is this connection, which is undeniable, between Beca and Chloe.

So, when Beca had requested the song, Theo did his best to talk to the producers, DJ Khaled and the other music executives to include the song that Beca wanted. It just seemed pretty obvious to Theo to whom that song is for. He might not know Beca too well like anyone else, but he had learned that Beca isn’t so good with expressing her own feelings. And Theo thinks that expressing your true feelings through a song is magical.

 

Theo watched Beca as she paced back and forth, glancing at him every once in a while, before letting out a defeated sigh. Theo smiled to himself, he always thinks that it’s pretty touching of Beca to always consider her _family._ And he knew that the look on Beca’s face meant that she’d do something for them again, or maybe for Chloe.

 

“You’re really weird, turtle, you know.” Beca said with an even voice, only receiving a chuckle from Theo.

Beca sat on the chair across Theo, her mind quickly fleeting to last night’s moment. She felt guilty, yet it feels so right. Although it wasn’t really a kiss in the lips, Beca felt so accomplished and she knew that it is something that she wouldn’t regret nor forget. Like ever.

And damn, it became a bit hard for her to act normal this morning when they woke up. She woke up to a Chloe watching her while she was sleeping.

 

At first Beca’s heart almost burst, guilt and conscience flowing in every vein of her body upon seeing that _look_ in Chloe’s face. She silently thanked her lucky stars and let out a sigh of relief when the redhead smiled at her and said that she had brought her breakfast in bed.

One of the best mornings that Beca had had in her entire life.

 

Fat Amy entered the room, glancing at Theo who gave her a nod before standing in front of Beca. The tiny brunette furrowed her eyebrows at the blonde.

 

 

Baby Bella’s birthday party was almost over, everything went well and according to plan. Thanks to their cooperation and help, the birthday celebration was a blast. As promised, the bellas, would be having their own after party celebration slash bellas’ reunion. Taking advantage of Stacie’s parents’ offer to look after Bella for the night.

Instead of going out and bar hopping, the girls thought that it would be nicer to just gather around the camp fire they would be having at the backyard of Stacie’s place and have some drinks while they chatter about their new lives.

 

And of course, they haven’t forgot about Beca’s promise to sing for them.

 

Which makes Beca anxious at the thought of singing that song in front of them. She does not have any problems with singing live, hell, it has been proven that she’s good at that without even trying. Her current problem is singing _again_ with her raw emotions that is _just_ for Chloe.

 

 

The rest of the girls were busy preparing for their mini campfire, carrying snacks out to the backyard, starting the camp fire, folding out chairs and preparing the sound system that Beca would use later on. Yeah, they’re that extra. They wanted Stacie to feel the moment since she missed the first time that Beca sung to them.

Beca excused herself for a moment to ‘breathe some fresh air’ outside. Well, that’s just an excused, because Beca had never felt this intense nervousness that almost seemed to claim her tiny body. No, it was different from the moment when she stepped up to that stage a year ago in their USO tour.

That one is for her girls. For her family.

 

And this one’s for the love of her life.

 

For Chloe.

 

The chilly wind blew against Beca, she crossed her arms as she feels a bit cold, shuddering for a moment. She stood there, her mind full of random thoughts but it’s weird at how all those thoughts keeps on coming back at Chloe. She then again, remembered last night’s events. It was enough to put a smile in Beca’s lips.

Beca slightly shook her head, her eyes looking down on the ground, still wearing that smile. She honestly thinks that if someone would see her right now, they’ll probably think that she’d gone crazy or something.

 

And she cringes when the phrase; ‘Crazy in love’ enters her mind. It’s corny. Really.

 

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard that lovely voice calling her name. Beca turned around, a frown quickly replacing her smile when she saw Chloe with tears forming on the corner of her eyes, her baby blue orbs glistening with tears. _Yet,_ the redhead is smiling.

As if on auto pilot, Beca walked towards the redhead, quickly checking if Chicago is around. But then she remembered that the guy left, and Chloe sends him off.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” Beca asked with concern lacing in her voice.

A tear escaped from Chloe’s eyes, shaking her head before pulling Beca into a tight hug. Beca immediately felt anger rising up in her chest, but she wanted to listen what Chloe has to say first before jumping into conclusions.

The brunette returned the hug, wrapping her arms tightly around Chloe, slowly caressing her back. She heard an almost inaudible sniff from the redhead and if Chicago is the reason why Chloe is crying, Beca would definitely lose it. Chicago would be facing war, alone.

 

“Shhh, tell me what happened, Chlo. I swear I’m going to fucking kil—” Beca was cut off when Chloe pulled away, immediately shaking her head.

Beca furrows her brows again as she studies the expression in Chloe’s face. The wind blows again, and that’s when Beca just realizes that Chloe doesn’t look like hurting at all. _She knew._ She had seen that look before, when they watched a very touching movie once. When they sang ‘cups’ in Aubrey’s camp before, the moment when they finally rediscovered their sound.

 

It was the look that Chloe has whenever the redhead had either witnessed a very heartwarming scene or when she was touched by a genuine action towards her.

 

Beca knows. Because she had pulled that kind of expression in Chloe a lot of times before. So, Beca already knew that Chicago hadn’t done something terrible.

 

There was a quick pause, and Beca watched as a wide smile spread across Chloe’s face before putting her left hand up. For a moment, Beca was frozen, and it took her a few seconds before she got the strength to move her eyes to look at Chloe’s hand. Her heart sunk, no, it was crushed into tiny pieces. Even more.

Her eyes caught glimpse of that shiny ring on Chloe’s finger.

 

 _It’s over. Really over._ Beca thought to herself, before she could say anything Chloe opened her mouth and Beca wonders if there is something wrong with her ears.

 

“Chicago gave me a promise ring before he left, he said he was being called back to their base next month. He’ll be away for maybe a year and he said he’s going to propose to me the next time he comes back.” Chloe spilled the news to her bestfriend, her eyes shining as she beamed at the brunette.

 

Beca did not respond not because she was out of words, well, that too. But really, what is she supposed to say? It didn’t even lessen the pain she was feeling when Chloe indirectly cleared that they are not engaged, _yet._ But it’s still close to that point.

 

“Becs?” Chloe called, noticing the silence or the lack of reaction from Beca. She snapped her fingers at the brunette, this time, successfully gathering Beca’s attention.

As usual, Beca feigned a smile. A smile that conceals a thousand pain and jealousy that Beca has. Beca is starting to think that maybe life had just given the moment to her last night, and life decided that this, is her karma for stealing a near kiss.

 

“That’s… great, Chlo. I guess…” Beca trailed off as she struggled to find the words that wouldn’t disappoint Chloe nor would make her sound hurt. Beca looked at Chloe who patiently waits for her continuation, she forced out a chuckle as she brushed her hand through her brunette locks.

 

“I guess, we’ll be seeing an engagement ring on your finger… in the future.” Beca said with a muffled voice, looking away as she felt her own eyes warming up.

No, she couldn’t break down in front of Chloe right now.

 

Chloe gazed at her best friend, she thinks it’s odd, but she suddenly felt a sharp feeling in her chest. Just as she is about to say something, Fat Amy comes out of the house, calling the two of them. Beca quickly turned around, tilting her head back at Chloe and giving her a smile before saying she’ll go ahead.

 

There, she left Chloe who was dazed and maybe… confused.

 

Amy looked at Beca, noticing that the brunette had wiped a strained tear across her cheeks. She pulled Beca inside a room, checking the surroundings for a quick second before looking back at the brunette who is now trying to stop herself from sniffing.

 

“What happened?” Amy asked. Beca could not get herself to meet the blonde’s eyes nor opening her mouth to answer. She’s afraid that her voice would break.

“Beca… I saw you and Chloe, what exactly happened?” Amy pressed on. The brunette sniffed once again before glancing quickly at the blonde.

“I can’t do this anymore, Ames.” Beca answered, calling Amy by the nickname she had given her. Though Amy wasn’t the best option to let it all out, it is the blonde who was actually there for her. Even right now.

“He even gave her a promise ring. I, I know it’s pretty stupid of me but… damnit.” Beca continued, letting out a frustrated sigh. Then there’s silence, Beca started toying with the hem of her shirt, feeling a bit uncomfortable with Amy’s silence. 

“Yeah, you can’t keep on doing this to yourself Beca. Come on, remember, you’re still the big BM. I would give you some of my confidence again, but this is different.” Amy broke the silence. Beca shifted her gaze and met with Amy’s eyes.

 

This is one of those few moments where the Australian blonde is trying to be serious. And Beca is glad, because she wasn’t sure if she could take any jokes from her at this point of time.

 

“What should I do?” Beca retorted, almost sounding desperate and helpless. She wasn’t sure at how she is still able to handle any of this.

They stared at one another for a quick second, before Amy took a step forward, holding Beca on either side of her arms, her eyes screaming determination.

 

“The only way to get away from the ginger’s spell is if you would tell her how you feel.” Amy stated with much certainty in her voice. Beca huffed, as she tried to escape from Amy’s grasp.

“You know, I can’t.” Beca answered as she struggles to remove Amy’s hands, but the blonde only holds her even tighter. 

“Come on Beca. Not confessing is like…” There was a pause as Amy tries to find the right words. Beca only turned her head and looked at her best friend.

“Is like… trying not to fart in public. The more you hold it in, it’ll only upset your stomach even more.” Amy added, causing Beca to let out another sigh.

“Amy, could you be serious, just this once? It’s really hurting me, you know.” Beca responded, both referring to the pain she was feeling in her heart and Amy’s tight grasp on her. The blonde loosened her grip on her.

“Trust me Beca. When you finally let it go, the burden in your chest will lighten.” Beca studied the serious expression that the blonde is sporting, “What, you can’t expect me to say; ‘Go on Beca, move on from Chloe. You’ll find someone else.’ I mean, I would if it’s still possible, but I could tell that you’ve fallen hard for ginger already.” Fat Amy added, hitting the bull’s eye.

 

Beca fell silent, absorbing every word that Amy had said and for the first time, Beca thought that the blonde had muttered something that actually makes sense. Amy is probably right, she had fallen for Chloe, hard. That her current role in Chloe’s life is slowly torturing her day by day.

 

Those feelings scared Beca at the moment she realized that she loves Chloe more than friends. It bloomed even more and became impossible to ignore when the two of them, including Amy, lived together after graduation.

It became out of Beca’s control when she shared a bed with Chloe along those years. The thing is, it wasn’t only the bed nor the apartment or Beca’s own personal space that she shared with the redhead. Obliviously, day by day, Beca was hit at the realization that she had been already sharing her life with Chloe.

 

And she is more than willing to.

 

If that would mean waking up next to Chloe for each morning for the rest of their lives, having the warmth and the presence of the redhead for each second that would pass after Beca comes home from work. If that would mean that Beca gets to talk, cuddle or kiss Chloe whenever she wants, then yes, Beca is more than willing to share her life with the redhead.

 

Which seems pretty impossible now that Chicago is in the picture. And that makes Beca think that she is pathetically involved in an unrequited love. And it sucks.

 

 

“And you think that admitting my feelings in front of her is the only way?” Beca asked. The blonde nodded her head, her eyes never leaving Beca’s.

 

“You can’t keep that a secret forever you know? Or don’t tell me you’ll only confess to her when, what, when she’s about to marry that army guy?” Amy pointed out, and Beca knew that, that wouldn’t be the best.

She wasn’t that selfish. She couldn’t do that to Chloe. No.

 

“Think of this as your only chance, Beca. Now or never.”

A defeated smile was plastered on Beca’s face as she slightly shook her head. _Now or never._

 

Beca stood not too far away from Amy as the blonde volunteered to ‘host’ Beca’s performance. Her eyes travels to each of the faces gathered around the camp fire, her heart swells when she caught a glimpse of the redhead. To whom in Beca’s eyes was glowing radiantly. She felt Theo’s presence behind her, she knew that despite the annoying presence of the guy, he was just trying to support her.

 

“So, this is definitely for someone, right Beca?” Amy hinted as she winked at Beca’s direction, the tiny brunette only showed a tight-lipped smile, not bothering to look at the girls whose attentions were all at her.

Beca should’ve known that Amy would do something like this after their talk earlier.

 

But, it’s now or never.

 

Beca started walking towards where Amy was, smiling when the bellas started clapping for her. She thanked the blonde who handed her the mic and gave her a knowing look. Beca then tilted her head and nodded at Theo as a cue to start playing the song.

Her eyes then searched for the bright blue eyes that she loves. The intro started playing and as if on cue, Beca’s memories of her first meeting with Chloe came fresh in her mind.

 

Here goes nothing.

 

**_You walked into the room and now my heart has been stolen_ **

**_You took me back in time to when I was unbroken_ **

**_Now you’re all I want_ **

**_And I knew it from the very first moment_ **

**_‘Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again_ **

On the activities fair, Beca still wasn’t aware that Chloe would be this special to her. She even felt sorry for Jesse because she had never felt this way for the guy even after they got together.

 

When Chloe barged into Beca’s shower. The first time they sang together, harmonizing perfectly as if they had known each other before, it was the very first time that Beca had felt that she is indeed connected to someone. To Chloe. It was also at that moment when Beca knew that it would be the start of something she’d treasure for the rest of her life.

 

And she’s right.

 

**_I swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me_ **

**_Like it was a private show, I know you never saw me_ **

**_When the lights come on and I’m on my own_ **

**_Will you be there to sing it again?_ **

**_Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories_ **

**_Can I be him?_ **

Beca sings every word with strong emotions, suppressing her own tears as she tried to look away from Chloe who was smiling genuinely at her. She remembered the day when she attempted to confess to the redhead, carrying the hopes that Chloe is feeling the same. She remembered Aubrey and Amy elaborating things that proves that Chloe has the same feelings for her, too.

 

And all those hopes disappeared in a snap when she walked into the scene where Chloe is already in Chicago’s arms, and that was the first time that Beca felt her whole world shattered. Because despite the success and fame she’s having right now, Beca still feels incomplete and she’s willing to give up everything that she have right now to be in Chicago’s place. To have the rights to call Chloe hers.

 

She silently prays that Chloe would get the message that she couldn’t say directly.

 

The brunette took a deep breath, finding the strength to continue without crying. And she hides her pain with a smile, before opening her mouth again to sing the next part.

 

**_I heard there was someone but I know he don’t deserve you_ **

**_If you were mine I’d never let anyone hurt you, no, no_ **

**_I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips_ **

**_It’s all that I’ve been thinking about_ **

**_‘Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again_ **

As the words came out of Beca’s mouth, she could not help but stare at Chloe once again. She knew that she chose the right song, because it really sums up everything that she wanted to say to the redhead. She meant every word in this song. And this time, she feels tears already forming at the corner of her eyes, Beca forced herself to continue singing without cracking her voice.

 

The bellas fell silent and it was no brainer that they knew that Beca wasn’t just plainly performing for them. Beca is singing her heart’s content right now. Aubrey tried not to look at Chloe who was sitting beside her. They all knew. They could feel it, even Stacie. And this state of Beca breaks every one of them.

It’s rare to see the tiny brunette laying out her feelings in the open.

 

Sympathy wouldn’t fit the exact feelings of the bellas for Beca right now. Maybe a little bit of that, but it’s more of a disappointment that it wasn’t Beca that is currently making Chloe happy. Well, Beca does make the redhead happy, but they knew Beca could do a better job than Chicago. And if they’ll be honest, they had all expected that Chloe would end up with Beca.

 

The connection is just obvious, but how they’re still not together was a puzzle.

 

Beca proceeded to the second chorus of the song, her eyes never tearing apart from Chloe’s, who is also staring back at her. And Chloe wasn’t sure why, but she knew, and she had felt this tight feeling in her chest again. It’s as if Beca was telling her a story, telling her something. And the gazing between them isn’t helping.

 

**_Can I be the one_ **

**_Can I be the one_ **

**_Can I be the one_ **

**_Oh, can I, can I be him?_ **

And the moment Beca repeated those lines, everyone gasped, and they swear they heard Beca’s voice crack. And it’s really heart wrenching for all of them. Aubrey could not stop herself anymore as she places her hand on top of Chloe’s, squeezing it tight, it’s her way to at least help Beca let Chloe feel that _this_ is for her.

 

Chloe glanced at Aubrey for a second before turning back to Beca, her heart beating ever so loud and fast. She could not figure if Beca is just a very great and soulful singer or her emotions she’s showing right now is raw and… she wonders if it really _is_ for someone.

 

**_Won’t you sing it again?_ **

**_Oh, when you sing it again_ **

**_Can I be him?_ **

**_Oh, sing it again, yeah_ **

**_Oh, when you sing it again_ **

**_Can I be him?_ **

The only time that Beca looks away from Chloe again is when she felt a stubborn tear escaping her eyes. She looked down in an attempt to hide her face, but it only seemed to make it worst for her because another tear had rolled down her cheeks, followed by another and another.

 

Beca was seriously thinking of running away at that moment, if she hadn’t remembered Amy’s words. Now or never.

 

She made a promise to herself to forget these feelings she has for Chloe after this night. Even if it’s impossible now, as what Amy had said.

Beca brought her hands up as she wiped her cheeks, before bravely continuing to sing.

 

**_I swear that every word you sang, you wrote ‘em for me_ **

**_Like it was a private show, but I know you never saw me_ **

**_When the lights come on and I’m on my own_ **

**_Will you be there, will you be there?_ **

**_Can I be the one you talk about in all your stories_ **

**_Can I be him?_ **

**_Can I be him?_ **

**_Can I be him?_ **

Beca glanced at Chloe’s direction, despite the stinging feeling in her chest, she couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of hope within her as she saw the reaction on Chloe’s face.

Chloe has tears in her eyes, too.

 

For the nth time that night, Beca’s grayish blue eyes locked with Chloe’s again as she sings the last line with the same emotions. With the same intention, with the same message.

 

**_Can I be him?_ **

All of them were silent for a moment. Not knowing how they should react to that heart breaking yet beautiful performance that Beca had.

Fat Amy then nudged Stacie who was also relatively quiet at the moment. It’s like they were all trying to sink in what had just happened.

 

 

“Yay! Who wants a drink?” Fat Amy, the only one who have the courage to break the depressing atmosphere exclaimed as she clapped her hands.

It seemed to snap everyone at their own trances as they clapped along with her, standing up to give Beca a hug. Luckily, Beca had calmed herself down a bit or else the hugs she was given would only cause her to breakdown in front of her.

 

 

Beca silently thanked that Amy is there to save the night. The blonde’s silliness helped ease the mood that everyone has after her song. No one dared to talk about it, knowing that Beca wouldn’t want to talk about it.

 

Except Emily.

Since Emily is the youngest in their group, she’s still off limits to alcohol. The taller brunette sat on beside Beca who is downing her God-knows-how-many glass she had tonight. Beca glanced at Emily before looking back at her glass.

She could feel that with just one song, something had already changed between her and Chloe as the redhead hadn’t came to chat with her. Beca momentarily regrets singing that song while looking at her, but Amy is right, it lightens the heaviness in her chest a bit.

 

“I was just wondering what songs would also be included in your next album. I can’t wait.” Emily said with excitement in her voice. Well, she’s always excited for everything.

Beca smiled as she looks at the younger brunette.

 

“You’ll have to wait for it, Legacy.” Beca answered as she took another swig of her drink.

Then there’s silence. Emily contemplating her next choice of words.

 

“You know, we’re always here for you. No matter what happens.” Emily mumbled but it was loud enough for Beca to hear. The older woman glanced at her, a small smile on her face as she muttered a silent; ‘Thank you’ and ‘I know’.

 

Emily then straightened up on her seat, her eyes darted behind Beca. The tiny brunette furrowed her eyebrows as she turned her head to the side, her heart almost jumping out of it’s cage when she saw a drunk Chloe smiling at their direction.

The redhead walked towards them, and it’s pretty obvious that she is already drunk as she walks tipsily. Beca quickly stood up from her seat to help Chloe sit without falling on the ground. It’s a cue for Emily to leave them, she knew that they needed to talk.

Because it’s impossible to ignore what had just happened earlier that night.

 

It’s impossible to ignore that Beca is hurting with Chloe’s current relationship with Chicago.

 

“Wow, you did drink a lot, didn’t you?” Beca asked her tone a bit sarcastic. Chloe giggled as she nodded at the brunette.

Beca just smiled before setting her eyes back on her own glass.

 

“Chicago is a nice guy, right?” Chloe slurred. Beca, despite feeling that familiar pain again at the mention of the guy’s name, let out a chuckle as she slightly nodded in agreement.

“What do you think of him, Beca?” Chloe asked, her eyes settled on Beca.

 

The brunette takes a quick glance at Chloe before shifting her gaze somewhere else. For a second, Beca thought about telling Chloe how she really feels but then she pushed that thought at the back of her mind. She feels like she had layed all her emotions out there when she sang.

 

“You really look good together…” Beca uttered, unsure if that’s an appropriate response at Chloe’s question. The other woman giggled as she nodded, before taking a sip of her drink.

Beca saw the movement at the corner of her eyes, when Chloe didn’t offer any answer, she pressed on.

 

“I mean… you and -him are like… a match made in heaven.” Beca added. Her own words were like she just stabbed her own self.

Beca smiled to herself, she feels like this everyday torture is slowly getting her used to the pain. And maybe soon, it’ll numb all the pain. She turned her head when she heard Chloe chuckle, the older woman shaking her head as if Beca had just said something stupid.

 

“I kept on hearing that from everyone, Becs.” Chloe said, then their eyes met.

Silence stood between them for a moment. Both were drowning in each other’s eyes. It was then when Beca was forced to look away.

 

“He’s lucky to have you. Like, really lucky. He got the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. It would be pretty dumb of him if he could not see that, or hurts you or…let you slip away. Has anyone ever said that to you?” Beca rambled, chuckling at her own words disbelievingly, causing Chloe to grin.

Right, because she is stupid enough to let someone else take Chloe away from her. He must not commit to the same mistake.

 

“Tell me _something_ I don’t know, Becs.” Chloe retorted, Beca glanced at the redhead and she starts questioning Chloe’s tone.

Beca wasn’t sure if Chloe meant something else. She took a deep breath before downing the rest of her drink, her face scrunched up as she felt the alcohol burning down in her throat that she’s a bit worried about damaging her voice.

 

 _Can I be him?_ Was Beca’s thought.

She shivered when she felt Chloe’s hand on top of hers, and maybe it’s the alcohol or the rush of the emotions or Chloe’s touch that pushed Beca to have this word vomit.

 

 

“ _It’s killing me inside.”_ Beca blurted out.

Silence.

 

When she had realized the words that came out carelessly, she straighten up from her seat, her eyes almost bulging out of its sockets. She shot her head to the side to find Chloe with tears in her eyes and an almost pained smile on her face.

Beca opened her mouth but closes it again as no words came out. Her gaze set upon on Chloe’s hand that was still holding hers, then she suddenly felt the courage to continue.

 

“Damnit. I don’t want to be your bestfriend anymore.” Beca said, her voice sounding a bit frustrated at the lack of motion from Chloe.

She looked up to see the redhead only crying and looking… _sorry_ towards her. And Beca swears that it’s only killing her slowly.

 

But there’s no backing out now.

 

“I want to be more than your freaking best friend. I want to be in his place. I want to be that someone Chlo, that someone whom you will refer to as the love of your life. The one you would happily talk about to someone else. The one you would always gush about, the one who… could get to kiss you anytime, anywhere...” Beca paused as she inhaled before pressing on, her eyes locked with Chloe’s whilst the redhead was a crying mess.

“I want to be the one who would hold your hand, I know mine fits yours too. I want to be the person who could get your stomach fluttering with all those rainbows and butterflies. I don’t want to be that one who’s only job is to listen to your stories about the person who makes you so damn happy, I want to be that person in your stories.”

 

“I wish I _am_ him, Chlo. I won’t be sorry for loving you, it’s… the best feeling and… yet the most painful.” Beca finished her ramblings, and she felt her own tears forming when she still hadn’t received any response from the redhead.

 

It’s like she’s waiting for the _obvious_ answer.

 

A pained smile grew on Beca’s face, as she shook her head, silently telling herself that she had lost the battle with a soldier. With a sniff, Beca nodded her head slightly, a small smile on her face, tears streaming down her face like river.

She then carefully takes her hand back, looking at Chloe once again before turning around and started running away. She didn’t even look back when she heard Chloe calling her.

 

She just felt like she needed to be away.

 

All the bellas were alarmed but Aubrey held them back, shaking her head, giving them the time and space to figure things out. Because there is no way that they needed to sort their own feelings out, Beca had already known hers, and for Chloe, it’s just a matter of choice.

 

 

“Beca! Damnit, aren’t you gonna listen to what I have to say?” Chloe yelled while running in full sprint to catch up to the brunette.

Beca stopped on her tracks, turning on her heels, her eyes blurry as tears continued to flow freely. She wasn’t sure why but if Chloe is going to reject her feelings in the nicest way possible, she wanted to hear it too. Just to add up to the thousand knives stabbing her right now.

 

Chloe took that as an advantage, running quickly towards Beca. When she’s a few feet away from the brunette, Beca took a step back. Chloe stopped, taking no time to catch her breath, her own tears streaming down. She choked down a sob before speaking.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You were hurting this past year and you didn’t tell me? I looked like a jerk, you know.” Chloe said in a muffled voice. She sobbed before frantically wiping her tears.

“You looked so happy with him, how am I supposed to get myself in front of you and tell you I love you?” Beca answered with much pain in her voice that it breaks Chloe.

“So, you’re settling with _stealing_ near kisses from me when I’m unaware?” Chloe asked, it caught Beca off guard. Despite being a crying mess, Chloe let out a chuckle as she nodded her head at Beca whose eyes were wide.

“I didn—” Chloe cut Beca off. She took another step forward, shaking her head at the brunette.

“What am I supposed to do with you, Beca? I… I can’t break him just like that, you know.” Chloe asked, and Beca then knew the crisis she had brought to the redhead. Beca just smiled as she watches Chloe walk towards her.

 

“You don’t have to, Chloe. I know you’re happy with him. I could see how much he loves you. I don’t want you to ruin whatever you have with him, I know it’s close to perfect.” Beca responded, her voice in a tone of giving up.

Chloe bit the bottom of her lip, as she suppressed another sob. Beca then held her hands tight, gazing deeply into her eyes, both have tears.

 

“I just want you to know how I really feel about you, Chlo. But I really meant it when I said I’m happy for you. You deserve it, you deserve a good person like Chicago. Besides, Amy would really kill me if I kept on doing this, you know, hiding things from you.” Beca’s voice cracked but she hides it with a chuckle.

 

“Beca…” Chloe called, but the smaller woman just shakes her head, before pressing their forehead against one another, their eyes screwed shut. No one talked for a moment, letting each other take the chance to put a stop to their tears.

Chloe then opened her eyes, staring at Beca’s face before the brunette met with her gaze. Slowly, inch by inch, both leaned in, closing the remaining distance. The current situation sends Beca back to last night when she stole a near kiss from Chloe, only this time, she is aware that Chloe knows what she is doing.

 

And at the moment their lips touched, Beca’s tears flowed as if there’s no tomorrow. Damn, she’d longed for this. It felt so right that her stomach is turning upside down. She brought her hands up to cup Chloe’s cheeks, she smiled when she felt Chloe’s hands in her face too, the kiss was longer than they had both expected, and when she felt Chloe moving, she pulled away, their forehead’s touching.

Beca took a second to let in her system sink what had just happened.

 

“Tell me what you want Beca… tell me what you want me to do.” Chloe begged more than stating, the brunette opened her eyes, pain filling her eyes.

 

“I want you to be happy, Chlo.” Beca said as she took a step back, getting away from Chloe’s hold.

She gave the older woman a genuine smile with tears in her eyes before turning around and started to walk away.

 

It’s the most obvious line of someone who had fallen for her bestfriend. A line that Beca had used a thousand times.

* * *

Beca patiently sits on the waiting area at the airport. Theo is standing on her right, holding their luggage, the man letting Beca sit in peace. He and the rest of the girls could only guess what happened between Beca and Chloe that night.

 

After that night, the two hadn’t seen each other again. Until Beca must leave for LA again, despite Theo’s offer of requesting a vacation for Beca, the woman said declined saying she’ll need a distraction, in which Theo respected.

He watched as the petite woman stared blankly ahead, and even without words, Theo is sure just how broken Beca is. He could see it. He could also tell that the woman had spent the rest of her stay in Atlanta crying. If puffy eyes weren’t the proof, Theo doesn’t know what is.

 

Theo let out a sigh as he looked at his wrist watch, noting that they still have a few hours of wait before their flight. He grabbed his backpack and fished for something in it, when he grabbed a hold of it, he sat beside Beca, placing the _CD_ in front of her.

 

Beca snapped out of her own trance, her eyes glancing down on the cd in front of her, her brows knitted together as she looked at the guy beside her.

 

“Amy, uh… she paid a large amount for this copy. It’s considered an early release, so she paid so much for this, she thought you should give this to Chloe since most of the songs were for her.” Theo explained, causing Beca to frown.

Her eyes raked down on the cd, staring on it for maybe a minute until Theo grabbed her hand and placed it on her hand. He then pulled a sticky note and a pen from his bag before handing it to Beca.

 

“Write something, we could call someone to give it to her.” Theo said, a serious expression on his face.

Beca just looked at the man until he urged her again to do it. The brunette huffed, her eyes settling on the cd and on the sticky note and pen in her hands. She threw a glare at Theo before actually writing something on it.

 

“Happy?” Beca said with a hint of her sarcasm before pushing the cd back on Theo’s arms. The guy just smiled with a nod.

 

Beca didn’t mind when Theo excused himself to call Amy or any of the bellas to give the cd. She went back to her blank staring; her mind is literally blank. She spent days thinking about Chloe, their kiss and how it hurts that it might probably the first and last time that she gets to kiss the redhead.

She gets rid of all the remaining hope in herself the moment she told Chloe that she just wanted her to be happy, even if it isn’t with her.

 

Just like that, Beca had passed the time without even knowing. Both her and Theo stood up from their seat when they heard their flight number. Beca grabbed her own bag, her heart almost stopped beating when she heard someone calling her name.

She looked around to search for the owner of the voice, there, in the middle, stood Chloe. In spite of looking restless and tired, Chloe still looked outstandingly beautiful in Beca’s eyes. Beca looked at Theo who has a ready smile on his face, he nodded at her, handing him the cd from before.

 

When Beca didn’t move, Chloe surged through the crowd, running in Beca’s arms. Beca is still dumbfounded, unbelieving that it _is_ actually Chloe who is in front of her. Though she wanted to see her, she tried her best not to expect Chloe to be here right now.

 

Beca was then brought back to her presence when she heard Chloe sobbed, dampening her clothes with tears as Chloe buried her face on the crook of Beca’s neck. The younger woman brought her hands, embracing Chloe tight, letting the redhead calm down.

After a few minutes, Chloe pulled away, wiping her tears with the back if her hand.

 

“You’re really leaving just like that?” Chloe said with hurt in her voice. Beca smiled apologetically at the older woman.

Chloe’s eyes went down on Beca’s hands, it was then when Beca remembered about the cd. She took Chloe’s hands in hers, gently placing the cd in her hand. The redhead stared at it for a second.

 

“For you. Some of those songs weren’t included on the final track list, except for the song that you know, I sang on Stacie’s place. Amy bought it because she thinks that all those songs were for you… which is true.” Beca admitted, sounding a bit embarrassed.

Chloe scanned the cd, a smile growing on her face.

 

_‘You belong with me’, ‘Human’, ‘ILSYB’, ‘Can I be him?’, ‘Endgame’._

Just by the titles, it already summed up all of Beca’s feelings. Chloe can’t wait to listen to this. She might spend the next months of crying over these songs.

Chloe looked up and saw the timid look on Beca’s face. She smiled at her, bringing her other hand up to cup Beca’s cheeks.

 

“I would like it even more if you’d sing it for me.” Chloe said softly, choking down a sob. Beca smiled as she put her hand on top of Chloe’s that’s in her cheek.

“You said you wanted me to be happy… I’ve been happy even without Chicago. I _am_ happy before I met him. And it’s because of you, Beca. _You_ make me happy. I thought I could forget and move on from you… I really think I did, I waited so long for this. And I don’t think I could forgive myself if I would let you go, not in that way. No, Beca. Because for once… I also wished to be in Jesse’s place.” Chloe admitted, another tear rolling down her cheeks.

 

At this point, Beca could feel her eyes warming up once again.

 

“One look Beca… that’s what all it took for me to know that I would only want you… I’m sorry for almost giving up on you. I tried with Chicago, it’s true, I am happy with him. I love him, but it wasn’t the kind of love that I have for you.” Chloe continued, wiping away the tear that’s forming in Beca’s eyes.

“Now tell me, Beca. What do you want?” Chloe asked, her eyes gazing deeply on Beca’s.

The brunette blinked, her tears slowly escaping.

 

“I want to be him, I want to be in his place… I want you, Chloe.” Beca answered and a wide smile spread across Chloe’s face before crashing their lips together.

They just remembered they were in a public place when they heard the people around them clapping and cheering loudly at them.

 

“You don’t have to be him, Becs. Just be Beca Mitchell, and I’d still love you.” Chloe mumbled against Beca’s lips.

Both smiled in the kiss before pulling away, pressing their forehead together. Their smiles never leaving their face, it was then that Beca had just noticed that there isn’t any ring on Chloe’s finger anymore. She held her hand, entwining them together.

 

She silently made a promise to herself to replace the ring, _soon_.

Whilst Chloe noticed the note on the cd. Her gaze focused on the note written on it, her smile grew even wider when she read it.

 

_“I’ll always be the rain cloud to your sunshine.” -Beca M._

***END***

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, that’s the end. Thank you for reading and sorry for the ending. (I’m not sure if this is considered a happy ending (Or was it open ended?), I tried.  
> I just came up with the idea of putting the last line to end this because even though it IS Anna Kendrick who said that to Brittany Snow, I think we could all agree that it is also very much like Beca Mitchell to Chloe Beale. ANYWAYS, thank you!
> 
> PS: I’m starting my next fic soon. (Lol)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Pitch Perfect Franchise, including its characters, the movies and its plot. As well as the song/s that would be mentioned below.


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